


Counting Sheep

by Lori Lane (LoriLane)



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Insomnia, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoriLane/pseuds/Lori%20Lane
Summary: It was a Friday night sitting round the fire pit near the airstream when Michael pops a few benedryl. Alex squints, “does that even do anything with your… chemistry? I mean do pharmaceuticals even work with alien biology?”Michael shrugged, “a couple beers, two benedryl… it helps me sleep. It’s over the counter. It’s not like… bad. It just helps my brain get quiet.” He looked down at his hands, “I don’t… sleep. Not well. You know. My brain is too loud. Sometimes I just need a little help. It’s not even a sleeping pill. It’s for allergies.”He plastered a cocky grin on his face and looked up, “I’m allergic to sleeping.”
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	Counting Sheep

It was a Friday night sitting round the fire pit near the airstream when Michael pops a few benedryl. Alex squints, “does that even do anything with your… chemistry? I mean do pharmaceuticals even work with alien biology?”

Michael shrugged, “a couple beers, two benedryl… it helps me sleep. It’s over the counter. It’s not like… bad. It just helps my brain get quiet.” He looked down at his hands, “I don’t… sleep. Not well. You know. My brain is too loud. Sometimes I just need a little help. It’s not even a sleeping pill. It’s for allergies.” 

He plastered a cocky grin on his face and looked up, “I’m allergic to sleeping.”

Alex raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Two benadryl won't kill you. You tried any other things?”

“What other things, Alex? Yoga? I’m limber but I’d rather get my exercise other ways.” Michael leered and waggled his eyebrows before taking another sip of his beer. 

He’s quiet a moment, stares at his beer bottle, tugs at the label. “I’ve tried a lot of things. Counting sheep doesn't really help much. I… I get bad dreams sometimes.” 

Michael swallows, clenches his jaw and finally looks up. “I see my mom sometimes. Sometimes it’s memories of shitty foster homes. Mostly it’s stuff like Isobel getting put on a slab while I just watch. I’ve had that one since the first time I watched ET.” He laughs self deprecatingly “I cried so hard at that movie, Mrs Lincoln wanted to get me therapy. I mean no one ever did get me therapy. Who can afford that? And I was seven. I wasn’t really talkative at seven. It would have been a waste of time.” 

He shrugs and looks down, “but yeah, Max and Isobel and Uncle Sam. That’s a classic one. The benadryl takes the edge off. It’s not a big deal.”

Alex resists the urge to brush his curls out of his eyes. He knows he might be pushing too hard, but it’s rare that Michael is in a sharing mood.” 

“You weren’t talkative? I know the three of you didn’t speak English when they found you. When did you start talking?”

Michael shrugs. “Way Isobel and Max describe it, they were talking within six months of getting adopted. I took a little longer.”

His eyes dart to the side. Lying. Michael is a terrible liar. 

“So you were…?”

Michael sighs heavily, mind made up. “Eight and some change. I was eight when I started talking too. Just I didn’t have much to say. And the foster parents liked that I was quiet. Everyone was happy. I mean they were all convinced I was an idiot, but that just made it easier to sneak out of the house when I wanted to.”

More than a year. That’s a year without a conversation. Without anyone hearing your voice. Without sharing anything meaningful with another person. Alex knew Michael was isolated as a kid but he didn’t expect more than a year of silence.”

“When I finally found Max and Isobel, I talked like I never stopped. I don’t know if Max and Isobel ever realized I didn’t feel like talking for so long before I finally found them again.” He laughed wryly, “I did a lot of screaming though. They couldn’t get me to say my A, B, Cs but I’d get mad and just scream. Super fun at parties! Made lots of friends!”

Alex pulled his chair closer and took Michael’s right hand (he didn’t like people touching his broken one), and he laced their fingers together. “Did you have friends?”

Michael threw his head back until it thunked against the back of his chair. “What is this? Sadness Hour with Michael Guerin? Give him a shake and see what sad childhood fact pops out! Ooo I hope we get the story about Mr Willis and his cupcake! That’s a fun one!” 

Michael gently freed his hand and wrapped his arms around himself, “I’m kidding. That’s not a fun story. We’re not sharing that one. Should we start talking about Christmas at the Manes house or something? Daddy’s little tin soldiers all lined up? Am I guessing this right?”

Michael got mean when pushed too far. But he wasn’t far off. Alex’s dad did like to line his sons up at parade rest and then read them their sins. If he deemed you worthy, you received a useful gift. If not, you didn’t eat. And there was no Santa Claus. Jesse Manes was the only voice of authority when it came to naughty and nice. Merry fucking Christmas. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” 

Michael gazed at the fire, anywhere but at Alex and he shrugged a truce. 

Alex watched the embers pop, “I don’t sleep well either. Apparently being in a war zone doesn’t really help you get your eight hours of rest. Sometimes it helps if I know immediately I’m not back there. Keeping my room really cold so I don’t confuse it for the desert. Playing music helps sometimes. Just something soft in the background so when I wake up I focus on that instead of whatever shitty memory my brain likes to focus on” (like a hammer crashing down once, twice, three times. Unblemished bare skin streaked with red. The sight of tiny little bones on the outside when they should have been on the inside… he wanted to focus on anything but that.) 

Alex said, “I just need my room to be different.”

They were silent for a moment before Michael looked open. “Do people help?”

“People?

“Yeah, like if I slept over would it help remind your brain you’re here not there?”

Alex shrugged, “I’m willing to try it if you are. Sleeping in your airstream months ago was probably the best sleep I got all year. And that’s high praise considering your mattress is tiny and a menace. 

There was an awkward pause.

A plan had been made, but it’s one thing to abstractly talk about slumber parties and another thing to actually implement them. Michael was the one to take the first step. He breathed heavily and forced himself up from the shitty plastic woven chair. He offered a hand to Alex. “Want to take a nap?”

Alex hadn’t expected it to be as comfortable as it was. They were used to each other’s bodies. Laying next to each other while wearing boxers wasn’t something new. Usually they were naked, but they were trying this whole platonic thing where they talked about feelings instead of just fucking. 

Alex liked having his back to the wall of the airstream. It was cold if he pressed back hard enough. The metal was never as insulated as Michael hoped for. It was hard to mistake your surroundings for a desert when your back was cold. And Michael liked being the little spoon even though he wouldn’t admit it. Alex knew he liked the feelings of arms around him, surrounding him, not letting him go. He could feel the heartbeat beneath his palm beating too fast. 

“Guerin, relax… it’s just me. If this doesn’t work, no harm no foul.”

A disgruntled huff was his only response.

But the heartbeat slowed. And the breath quieted. And Alex felt him drift off to sleep, and found his own eyelids heavy. 

They woke nine hours later and Michael smiled his slow easy smile as he stretched cat-like on the small bed. Alex covered Guerin’s mouth with his palm. “Don’t be smug.”

Michael licked him. And Alex smeared his wet hand on his cheek. “Gross. You’re so gross.”

“You like it.”

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on Tumblr[ @angsty-aliens](https://angsty-aliens.tumblr.com)


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